At a certain point as retirement looms, it crosses your mind. Do you downsize? Do you really need the big house? Is it time to move into a condo with less grass to mow and bathrooms to clean?

The thought of more days playing golf on perfectly manicured greens and less time spent picking crabgrass from your front lawn sounds really good. Years spent paying your mortgage has finally paid off and your house is worth considerably more than what you paid for it.

You picture trading in your big home for two smaller places; perhaps one in a warm climate and one in a town nearby with lower taxes.

For many, the idea of downsizing once children have grown up and moved out seems like a natural step. And I suppose for some, it still is, but more and more people I know aren’t considering it. Sure, we talk about what we want to do once the nest empties, but truth be told, some of us still need the big house and yard.

And Then They Came Back

Like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie, Terminator, you didn’t expect to hear the words, “I’ll be back.” 

For many of my friends, their children have moved back home - either because they can’t afford rent or because they want to save money for a downpayment to purchase their own home. There are so many of them boomeranging back that it’s almost in vogue.

Before they knew it, the house was full again, except now the kids came with more stuff. Gone are the days of school backpacks and sports equipment. Now it’s extra furniture and work-from-home setups. And where is everything supposed to fit?

Remember when you thought a four-bedroom house was more than enough? 

Perhaps Upsizing Instead

Even if your kids don’t move back home, having a smaller place cramps family gatherings (pun intended). Where are you suppose to fit everyone for Thanksgiving dinner when the number of family members keeps multiplying? Sure, you raised two or three, but now they all have partners. What was once a family dinner of five turns into a family dinner of eight. When they start having children of their own, where are the grandkids supposed to sleep if your four-bedroom home turns into a one- or two-bedroom condo?

Today, instead of downsizing as we’ve known it, many empty nesters and retirees are choosing to age in place, make lateral moves, or even “upsize” in their golden years. In a Merrill Lynch study, retirees say a top reason for “upsizing” is to have a home that is large and comfortable enough for family members to visit and stay with them.

Our house was never that big to begin with, so our empty nest doesn’t feel overwhelmingly spacious. In fact, we often talk about renovations. Sometimes, I think about upsizing — an addition to include another room for crafts or exercising, expanding the kitchen so it’s more gourmet, refreshing the bathroom to mimic a spa-like retreat.

Then There’s Rightsizing

The change in circumstances caused by retirement or an empty nest doesn’t necessarily have to include downsizing or upsizing. Maybe it’s not really about trading in the big house for two smaller places. Maybe it’s more about rightsizing - customizing our space to fit the lifestyle we want to enjoy now.

It could be that this lifestyle change caused either by retirement or an empty nest is really just about choices. Now might be the time to live out dreams and goals that have been put aside.

Asking those questions that start with “Wouldn’t it be nice if…” might lead us to re-evaluate how we picture what we want our space to include — now and in the future as we get older. For those who have taken up a new hobby, wouldn’t it be nice if the home included a paint studio? For others who want to entertain more, wouldn’t it be nice if there was a backyard pool? And some ask as they think about aging, wouldn’t it be nice if we lived closer to the kids?

Scaling your home to meet your needs is just the beginning of an exciting chapter of life — whether you’re considering downsizing, upsizing, or rightsizing.

Whatever the motivation, you’ve earned the freedom to choose. Enjoy it!