The Egg Heist
Rounding the aisle in the grocery store on my way to the dairy section, I was surprised to find only 10 cartons of eggs on nearly empty shelves and a sign limiting the purchase to two cartons. Having no idea about the bird flu since I don’t listen to the news (see No New is Good News for my reasons why), at the time I wondered why there were so few eggs. It reminded me of the COVID-19 days when it was hard to find toilet paper.
And then I heard about the great egg heist.
In Pennsylvania, 100,000 eggs were stolen in the dead of night from a trailer. Imagine that. Just what are the thieves going to do with that many eggs? How long will they keep before going bad? Is there a black market for eggs? Do shady figures in back alleys whisper, “Psst, buddy, you need a dozen? Fresh grade A, no questions asked.”
Reporters are having a field day writing articles about this one with titles like:
Pennsylvania Egg Heist: Case Remains Unscrambled
Egg-streme Heist: 100,000 Eggs Vanish
After 100,000 Eggs Stolen, CEO will Crack Down on Security
Authorities Scramble to Crack Case of 100,000-egg Heist in Pennsylvania
A hundred thousand eggs is a lot of eggs. In case you were wondering, one of the world’s largest cakes ever baked was created in 2015 to mark Rio de Janeiro’s 450th birthday. It fed thousands of people - and used 3,000 eggs. In 2009, McDonald’s set a world record for creating the largest batch of scrambled eggs in New Zealand - using 20,000 eggs. So it’s obvious that the eggs were not stolen for one person’s consumption. According to the USDA, eggs only last 3 to 5 weeks in the refrigerator.
Pennsylvania’s heist wasn’t the only one that happened across the U.S since the cost of eggs started soaring. A cafe in Seattle reported an egg theft as well. Breakfast used to be the budget-friendly choice compared to dining out for dinner. That might not be true any longer.
With the rising cost of eggs, Easter might need a makeover. Forget dyeing them—those things are practically currency now. And whoever’s making the deviled eggs? That job should go to the highest earner in the family or we should skip that app altogether. As for the hunt for the golden egg? These days, they’re all golden.