I grew up in a time when thank you cards were handwritten and mailed to each person who gave a gift - birthday, Christmas, graduation, wedding, baby shower. No matter the occasion or the item, if I was given a gift, it was standard practice that a thank you note was written immediately. 

I was taught how to write a thank you note as well, thanks to my mom. Before the pen was put to paper, I envisioned the person in my mind. I thought about the person’s influence in my life and what they meant to me. I thought about the gift that was given - what I liked about it, how I would enjoy it. Then I was ready to write.

Thank you notes were a big deal in my family when I was growing up. It is no wonder then that when I became a parent, I continued to teach that practice. 

Sending a thank you note after receiving a gift need not be the only time a thank you note is written. An influential person in my life made a practice of writing a thank you note at the end of each year to folks in his life who he was grateful for. He would reflect on the interactions he had with the recipient that year and what he appreciated about the person. As a recipient of those thank you notes, I always enjoyed reading them.

Gratitude. 

Whether shown in a thank you note or an end-of-year reflection, being grateful has positive benefits.

When we focus on the things we are grateful for, we focus on what we have rather than what we lack. And the more we focus on what we have, the happier we become.

In PositivePsychology.com, the author explains the neuroscience of practicing gratitude and the effect it has on our brain. “When we express gratitude and receive the same, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin, the two crucial neurotransmitters responsible for our emotions, and they make us feel ‘good’. They enhance our mood immediately, making us feel happy from the inside. By consciously practicing gratitude everyday, we can help these neural pathways to strengthen themselves and ultimately create a permanent grateful and positive nature within ourselves.”

In addition, The Mayo Clinic reported a study that shows feeling thankful can improve sleep, mood and immunity. Gratitude can decrease depression, anxiety, difficulties with chronic pain and risk of disease.

I find it easy to think of things I am grateful for when things are going well. However, practicing gratitude can be challenging when the circumstances in your life are dire or depressing. Yet, this is the time when practicing gratitude is most important.

In no way would I diminish the emotions felt during a particularly challenging time in life. It’s easy to be consumed with worry, fear, or other negative feelings. 

However, when experiencing adversity, focusing on the positive things in your life will break the cycle of negative thought patterns. It allows you to step off the hamster wheel of anxiety and fear about the problem. 

I recall the time when I was going through infertility challenges. I was getting older. It seemed as if all of my friends and family were having children, and my situation seemed bleak and hopeless. It was a dark and depressing time - and really hard for me to be grateful. Yet, it was when I stepped back and began to consider all of the good things in my life that I began to feel a bit better about my situation. 

Count Your Blessings.

Before retiring for the evening, recount in your mind three or four things that happened or that you encountered during the day that you are grateful for. Try being specific and recalling how you felt.

Find the Silver Lining.

When you have encountered a negative situation and begin thinking about it, try finding one or two good things that you can say about the situation.

Keep a Journal.

Each day, consider writing in your journal all of the things in your life that you feel fortunate to have or experience. This can be done in the quiet morning hours or any time when you have a few minutes to reflect and write.

Meditate or Pray.

The act of meditating or praying fosters feelings of peace, hopefulness, forgiveness, and gratitude. 

Write a Thank You Note.

It need not be a thank you note for a gift. It could be for an action that someone took on your behalf. Or perhaps, you’ve had someone on your mind and want to send a quick note to let them know how much they are appreciated. You could even write a note and not send it and still get the same benefits.

Thankfulness. Gratitude. Appreciation. Words to live by.